Feeder/Feedee

I've heard this story many times. A person has no interest in feedism but is persuaded to try it by their feeder. They gain some and by their partner's reaction realize how erotic feedism can be. It starts to turn them on, and before you know it they appreciate gaining on its own merits. They'll want to continue even if they break up with their partner.

Has this happened to you? Can you add any details? (I've heard of this happening many times but no one seems to be able to describe it very well. )

I'd go so far as to assume it may be borderline inevitable given the right setup, lack of negative factors, presence of positive, etc. Our culture is so weight-obsessed, fat so taboo, it's practically begging for something like feedism to exist as a major sexuality subculture. And so, I think that many if not most people are to some degree predisposed to it, even if for 99% their life and situational circumstances will never meet in the right combination to evoke it more than in passing.

But for some, with such natural predispositions, open enough, and with a partner interested and encouraging and compassionate and passionate, etc., it makes perfect sense. I mean, it IS intensely erotic on so many levels.

For me personally, feeder-leaning, my first encounter with the genre wasn't even a person, it was a story, I think, though it was very long ago. But all the factors in my circumstances and life and personality and personal experiences are indictive of predisposition. So that when I encountered that story, a simple story, translated from german I think, of a teen having lunch with his chubby girlfriend, it made me uncomfortable but intensely curious. And I was neither manipulated toward it nor turned off from it, which I think is key for anyone in any experience, really. My curiousity and discomfort in combination led me to search out other stories and communities, and choose on my own how I felt about it.

Not quite what you were asking, but relevant I think. When people are introduced to something new, their experience often falls under one of three categories, IMO: pressured into it on one end, or so passingly as to go almost unnoticed on the other, but in the middle is just enough awareness and excitement/anxiety/fun to make an impression without being a turn off. Something expressive or alluring or mysterious, perhaps, or yah, just fun and interesting. I think there's a sweet spot for a lot of different kinds of experiences, and especially introduction to them, that makes them available for integration into your own personality and self.

IMHO, of course.

Why feedees and not feedists?

I digress.

Can't teach someone to participate in a kink they don't want to participate in. And if they do, there's no guarantee they'll participate in it the way you want them to.

All you can do it kink negotiations. Maybe they'll be into it. Maybe they won't maybe they will decide they prefer to be feeders, mutual gainers, or fat admires than feedees.

Open, honest communication is sexy. It can be a little scary, but you owe it to yourself and your partner to try.

Good question, but I'd rather do one question at a time!



I think that's usually true, but it does happen sometimes. They'll try it and find they like it. Maybe you don't want to call that "teaching" but it's a thing.

Good question, but I'd rather do one question at a time!



It's not teaching. That is introducing someone to a new thing.

For example, I didn't get into BDSM until a partner introduced it to me. He didn't teach me a thing. I figured out what I did and didn't like while he supported me through my discovery.

There were things he liked that were no-goes for me. Meanwhile, there were things that I enjoyed that he was largely ambivalent about.

Circling back to the original topic, there are numerous ways to be a feedee. As such, you can't be taught. You can explore it. You can go on a journey. But it's something you have to figure out for yourself.

Good question, but I'd rather do one question at a time!



I'm not talking about just introducing someone to a new thing, I'm talking about the case where you introduce them to a new thing and they get into it. If you don't want to call that "teaching", fine by me but your term doesn't quite work either.

That's basic English, but you do you, boo.

I don't know, sometimes you introduce someone to a new thing and they don't like it.

Correct. And if you paid attention to everything else I said, I said in my original post that all you can do is kink negotiations

Y’all feeders might have a easier time with people who are already fat I mean for me it was just a failed diet a lil bit of body positivity and fat acceptance and I was hooked — it’s important however to express those intentions not all fatties like being fat